Sunday, August 7, 2011

Live It (hate it) and want the eff outta it!

There are so many things that I wish to write this morning...some of them I am not ready for, while other fill me with such anger that I need to get them out...this is one of them.

I have been searching for a job for almost 10 months.  I didn't get fired, but my mental illnesses were rearing their ugly heads at work, and the big black c--t wolf couldn't comprehend that you CANNOT combine ABS with FMLA.

BITCH - but Nov. 19 will be special, because I am going to blast a blog across the country, as my bs statute of limitations will be up...GOD I HATE THAT COMPANY.

So, with that being written, I have, throughout my whole life, NEVER had a problem finding a job.  I started a job right after high school making money that people still make now.  I worked there for 3 years.  I had a temp job at a warehouse that fucked me over, promising I would go to perm, so I rented an apartment.

Next job made me crazy, so I acted it.  They let me go when I had a car accident that should have killed me.  I am one of the minute groups of folks that if I would have had on my seat belt, I would have died.

I really liked my next little job, although I didn't understand the things we were selling (cookware).  But, I did well, and was an assistant manager.  I think that I lasted a couple of years.

Then, I moved on to processing and printing 35 mm film.  I LOVED it. I was awesome and knew it.  I could make "shit from shinola" (Basic Instinct).  I stayed there for 5 years.

I left there to move onto the travel industry, as that is where I grew up.  I did not pay for a flight until last year when I flew to Houston for my birthday.  People still ask me to this day "How much does it cost..." Hell, I don't know..."I DID NOT PAY."  We stayed at posh hotels for $20, $30 a night, cars were practically free and my bonuses had commas in them.  Why did I leave?  9/11 - cut backs were right and left, and I did not want to be one of them.  I confirmed my suspicions the day I saw them a) - take out the fake plants, b) - remove the coffee, and of my own stupidity, I was sleeping with my manager and it did not end well.  (Since then - almost 10 years later, the water under the bridge is merely a puddle and we were in our immature 20s).  The closure has been great.  Even HE has tried to help me find a job.  Oh, and I forgot to add they took away our REAL incentive: two passes, once a year, to ANYWHERE in the world.  Yeah, you'd leave, too, huh?

After I lied for the reason I put in my two-wk notice, I decided to get into get into an industry that was booming, which was the telecommunications industry.  Once again, after taking a 5-wk sabbatical to recover from the above, I applied and was accepted.  I will not mention the company, but most of you know it is called "the interstate service."

OMG - I cannot CONVEY to you the horror of that job.  It was like prison (when I referred to how long I stayed, I always said "14 months," like it was a prison sentence).  They refused to work with my school schedule, and on Mondays and Wednesdays I have MAYBE two hours of sleep to make it to class; luckily their rep spread far and wide, and the professors would let me go early since I was making As in their classes.

It's not funny, but I would set aside two times a day to cry - one in the shower, and one during lunch...oh, and one on the way to work.  I HATED everyone - the recruiter lied to me about where I would be in six months (if you could have seen my resume, I should NOT have been placed in an entry role).  I was nice to the customers, b/c most of them were sane and wanted to complain about how much they hated their phone service.

Then, one day, like a manna from heaven, the company across the street calls me.  I interview during my lunch break (no tears), and I am offered the position in a backline role making more than the shitty fucking pay that pink and black building offered me.  I walked back into HR, smiling (probably tipping off many that I may have lost it), and gave my 2-wk notice.  During that time, I LOVED it...I gave everyone on the phone anything they wanted.

Last job - Seven years and 5 promotions - despite rumors I worked my ass off to get to where I needed to be.  For 3 yrs I wanted a career, and then the knife in my back was inserted so deep I think piece of it are still there.

(There will be more to this story later...Nov. 19...and it's GOOD).

So, depression set in, delayed onset of 3 other illnesses set in as well, and overnight, I turned into how I felt.  I won't lie - I am very attractive and men love me...but not with unwashed hair.

I was a liability to the company - remember folks - knowledge is POWER.  And, I had a LOT of it.  Let's just put it that way (Nov. 19).

So, since my departure was "voluntary," I don't get unemployment checks due to a serious mental illness(es). Those mother fuckers gave me the most disgusting fuck in the ass and I still hurt.

Let me tell you what bs has happened to me since my quest for a job:

1.  First call - ticket counter agent (YAY

2.  Insurance/commission job.  I AM NOT MARRIED AND DO NOT HAVE A RICH SUGAR DADDY, so how in the FUCK do you expect me to work for a job with no base pay?  Eff of, you stupid duck.

3.  Call from a manager on a Sunday wanted to see me on a Monday to interview for 3 stores that needed to be supervised in the airport.  Again, I bit my lip - I COULD SEE my salary requirements, and let me assure you that they weren't $10 an hour.  Crazy MF; however, I did appreciate the free Starbucks.

4.  Next job - Client relations advocate for various accounts, which I received bank at my previous job; these mother fuckers wanted to pay me $12 and hour when I hadn't made 12 an hour since I was probably eighteen.
I liked the building, I liked the ppl, and decided if my roommate would pay his rent, I could take it.  They gushed over my professionalism and how they would like for me to start on Monday.  Now, I still don't know which Monday, bc they never called me back, after 3 vms, one email and a fuck off, you're company is unprofessional and misleading.  Same with a hotel that booked travel that I KNOW Paris Hilton would not have like.

5.  This was when the beginning of my demise started.  I received a call one morning from an awesome, on-the- spot recruiter that offered me an exec. admin. position to their VP, which required travel, note taking, presentations, letters sent on his behalf - all the things in which I used to do.  When I requested my ending salary at my former company, she automatically said "No problem."  I danced with joy until a few days later.  The previous employee decided to come back after maternity leave...can really blame her - not in this economy.
I was heartbroken.

6.  Next offer:  An awesome company based out of ND offered me a sup. position for the entire call center making an excellent salary; however, it was based on the contingency that a contract was renewed with them.

It wasn't, and my 20 days of happiness was over again...that one made me cry until it developed into a panic attack.

Finally - found a great temp service with two awesome girls.  One thought she had found the perfect job for me, b/c I had the unique qualifications in which they were seeking.  Feedback: Although she was nice, professional and had a great sense of humor, we are going to try and get our original person back, and if we can't, we will repost with an HR background.

So, in closing, I am VERY fortunate that I have great friends and family that have assisted in supporting me.  I love you all and cannot express the part of my heart that each of you touch everyday when my phone rings.

And, I cannot WAIT to get fucking WASTED to celebrate "MEDUSA HAS A JOB....MEDUSA HAS A JOB..."

Ambiguously yours,
M (xoxo)

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